It happens to all of us eventually. The laptop finally gets too crufty, too overloaded, too full... and it needs a total wipe and reinstall.
Unfortunately, that day is today. Not by choice, mind you, but an accident of timing.
I'll finish writing up the answer when I have my computer back from the techstop guys. (They're good, but they can't move a terabyte off the old computer and onto the new computer THAT quickly...)
I'll post the answer on Monday, August 11th.
Trust me, it's worth the wait.
Until next week, take a break and enjoy the weekend!